Dear Ladies See Reasons Why You Should Avoid Claiming You Are Virgins

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  was motivated to come up with this write-up by the comments of the ladies on a thread I dropped yesterday. I was so amazed when about 95% of ladies claimed they were virgins. The importance of virginity cannot be overemphasized any time any day and it’s a thing everyone should endeavour to keep for reasons best known to you. The rate at which our ladies claim virgin these days is so alarming and i just shake my head in disdain when I see them use it as a leverage to show purity thereby making others feel intimidated
I personally believe virginity shouldn’t be a showcase of holiness or a display of egoistic attitude. When you still have your virginity, it’s for your own good and NOT for the benefit of the nation 

When guys still have their virginity, hardly would their friends know because they will never show it off, rather they try to hide and pretend they are also BADOOs in order not to be ridiculed or laughed at. Guys you know that feeling when you claim you are a virgin in the midst of 50 guys.. Greatest height of bashing.. Hehehe
Note: Don’t get this post twisted because this is NOT an attempt to urge those who still have theirs to give it out, so if your comprehension skill is poor pls kindly read all over as many times as possible or better still, ask someone with a better comprehension skill to explain it to you.

1. It’s Your Pride Which Other Will Not Benefit From

I was shocked when a lady on my previously created thread was just blabbing ” IT’S MY PRIDE & I’M RESERVING IT FOR MY HUSBAND” I mean whose pride should it be ? My own pride ? Smh In as much as your virginity is only for your own good, then why advertise it to the world because you want them to worship or adore you?
2. You Lose Your Respect

Personally, I love virgins so much and I would really like to have one for myself but my love for a lady head on diminishing return if she claims being a virgin on a public forum. Many ladies claim virgins just to show to people that they are s*xually disciplined and pure.

3. Your Friend Start Watching Your Movement

If you live in school hostel you should know what I’m talking about. Ladies in the hostel don’t like when you pride yourself probably because you still have your virginity, that is, when they talk about se x you keep mute, when they talk about their boyfriends you keep mute because you want to show holiness. This trigger jealousy and they start watching your movement and the moment you are spotted playing a dirty game, they would mock you to the extent that you would feeling like packing out of the hostel.

4. It Shows You Are Immature

A mature lady doesn’t announce her virginity, she rather keeps quiet. She talks and mingle with those who have lost theirs without discriminating., Only an immature lady would squeeze their like face as if she has yoyo bitters in their mouths the moment se x discussion comes up.

Some readers might bad mouth me on this …lol what’s your comment ?

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Can You Risk Not Using Condoms?

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Switching out condoms for a more intimate form of birth control is a big step in your relationship. But knowledge is your best defense against unwanted consequences.

  


Switching out condoms for a more intimate form of birth control is a big step in your relationship. But knowledge is your best defense against unwanted consequences.


There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel closer to the person you love. Perhaps you’ve been dating for a long time and share an unshakable emotional connection and an intense sexual chemistry. Maybe, after spending so much time together, both in and out of the bedroom, that little rubber barrier that stands between you is beginning to feel like an unnecessary nuisance. For many couples, choosing a non-barrier method of birth control in lieu of condoms is a totally natural event in the formation of a long-term relationship. However, before taking the plunge, there are facts you should know, precautions you should take, and conversations you should definitely have with your partner.


The ABCs of STDs

The spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) has reached epidemic proportions in the United States. One in three men and women has contracted at least one STD by the age of 24. While new medical treatments and tests have given many people a new lease on life after having such illnesses, the fact remains the same: Most STDs are lifelong conditions, some of which can have very serious long-term effects, especially for women, whose sexual organs are largely internal.


Just because you can’t see the symptoms of an STD doesn’t mean it isn’t there. For example, each year, an estimated three million people are infected with chlamydia, which is sometimes referred to as the silent STD because often it produces no symptoms. As a result, many men and women don’t know they have it. Furthermore, up to 40 percent of women with untreated chlamydia will develop pelvic inflammatory disease, which can result in infertility. Complications in men are rarer.


Know your partner. Sit down with your partner and have a discussion at length about your sexual histories. Depending on what kind of a dynamic your relationship has, this may feel awkward. However, it is absolutely necessary for you to know who your partner was with before you and vice versa. If there were any strange physical symptoms or sexual anomalies during sexual experiences either of you have had in the past, now is the time to be open with each other.


Discuss the consequences. What will be your course of action if you become pregnant? Regardless of what choice you’d make, would your partner be supportive of that choice? Even with another form of birth control, removing the barrier method heightens your likelihood of conceiving, and it’s always important to be clear in your communication with your partner.


Get tested together. Set up an appointment to get tested together and keep that box of condoms handy until you receive the results. When you do hear from the doctor, show your results to your partner and ask him to do the same. As an act of trust, it will bring you emotionally closer together, and seeing test results is the only way for sure to know what you’re signing up for when you’re not using condoms.


It’s wonderful to trust your partner, but it’s even better to know the two of you are safe and healthy. Get tested — and free your mind form other things 

How to Heal a Broken Heart

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When breakups leave your heart aching, you must grieve and find a way to go on.

  

Divorce is a painful, messy matter that can leave both partners feeling like they have just experienced a death. And, in a way, they have experienced that kind of loss — the death of their marriage and their “happily ever after” future, which they believed in and worked toward for so many years. Saying good-bye to that dream and embracing a new, single lifestyle isn’t as easy as simply dividing up your assets and arranging joint custody. There is much more to the story, which is why rebuilding after divorce takes bravery, strength, and a positive attitude. Consider the following steps to help you lay the foundation to restore, rebuild, and rewrite your future:

1 Seek therapy. 

Some people wrongly believe that therapy is a sign of failure or mental illness, but the truth is that we all need extra support sometimes. Therapy will give you a safe, secure place to work through your issues and tackle your new life with aplomb and grace. Additionally, it can be useful to seek therapy for your children, as divorce can be confusing and scary, particularly for younger children who don’t understand the process.

Let go of the guilt. 

When it comes to divorce, we often hear the term “failed marriage,” and some people refer to individuals with multiple divorces as “two-time losers.” What shaming and hurtful terminology! You aren’t a loser or a failure just because you are going through a divorce. Let go of the guilt, and leave those shaming terms in the dust. Rejoice in the fact that you are a brave, strong, independent individual. You are rebuilding your life and doing something that some people are too scared to undergo.

3 Look inward. 

Therapy can help you to look inward, but even without counseling, you can take a look at your own role in the divorce. It’s hard to admit wrongdoing or accept blame, but doing so can actually be quite empowering and keep you from making those same mistakes in your next relationship. Where did you go wrong? Did you shut down during arguments or name-call? Did you hold on to petty hurts or spend too much time in the office? Accept your responsibility in the marriage and the divorce, and then move forward with a clear, free heart.

4 Forgive. 

A wise man once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy.” Truer words were never spoken when it comes to healing a broken heart. If you are bogged down in anger, rage, and resentment, you will never be able to let go of your pain and find happiness again. So, if you are having a hard time forgiving your partner, remind yourself that you are doing it for you and not for him.

5 Rediscover yourself. 

There is a silver lining when it comes to divorce. It offers you the opportunity to rewrite your future and rediscover yourself. You can go back to school and get that culinary degree you always dreamed of, you can take up rock-climbing, you can go on speed dates, or you can flirt with that cute guy in your office. You are free to reach out for your every dream and explore your heart’s desires. Who knows what the next chapter might bring?

ABrizzle – “Excuse Me”

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Abrizzle is an artiste signed under Real Entertainment Domination(R.E.D) and one artiste to watch out for after holding his fans spell bound with a jaw dropping jam titled “Patewo”. He continues to thrill with this track “Excuse Me” produced by Harry and mixed by Steine which promises to be a bang and also imprint his name as a star in the making.
If you love good music then you going to love this song.

 

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7 Warning Signs That You Have an STDDr. Lawson989

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If It burns, itches, or blisters, it is probably an STD. Discover the warning signs so that you are in the know.  
  Sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs, can be painful and embarrassing. Unfortunately, they are also a common occurrence, especially when safe-sex precautions are not taken. Even when such precautions are observed, STDs such as HPV can still be spread. Luckilymost STDs are easily treatable by your doctor.
If you’re afraid you might have an STD, consider these seven warning signs:
1. Painful urination
2. Painful intercourse3. Open sores or bumps near the mouth or genitals
4. Unusual discharge from the genitals/Unusual odor
5. Itching or swelling in the genital area
6. Changes in menstruation
7. High fever, fatigue, nausea
These can all be symptoms of an STD. It’s especially significant that no. 7 (symptoms of general illness) can indicate an STD, so if you feel as if you might be coming down with something shortly after having unprotected sex, don’t assume that it’s just a common cold.
If you believe you might have an STD, you should make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible. Although regular STD testing and safer sex can help protect you from contracting such a disease, the truth is that STDs can happen to anyone who has sex — even if it’s that persons’ first time. With knowledge and education, however, you can help protect yourself and your partner.

7 Tips for Long-Distance Lovers

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It is possible to sustain a healthy, passionate relationship even with thousands of miles between you.

stacy-keibler-phone-call

Long-distance relationships often get a bad rap. People often assume that physical distance can equal emotional distance, and that living in different states (or even different countries) can lead to mistrust, arguments, and a lack of passion and connection.

Thankfully, this doesn’t have to be the case. A new study published in the Journal of Communication found that long-distance lovers report a closer emotional connection to their partners than lovers who live in the same house. Long-distance couples also report improved communication and they are more likely to say that they believe that their partner is really listening to them.

It’s wonderful news for the nearly 14% of Americans who are in long-distance relationships, as well as for couples who separated for days or weeks at time due to work obligations. The truth is that physical distance does not have to amount to a lack of intimacy and connection. In fact, it can actually encourage couples to foster healthy habits and improved communication.

Here are some tips to consider to help keep your long-distance relationship strong:

  • Make (and keep) regular phone dates. Thanks to today’s technology, long-distance lovers can easily stay in touch. Thanks to Skype and Facetime, you can even see your partner’s face as you catch up on the phone. Make sure to make regular phone dates and to block out a part of each day (or week) in which you can connect with no other distractions. Sending frequent texts and emails is also great, but sometimes your partner needs more than just a note on his Facebook wall in order to feel close to you (and vice versa).
  • Take turns visiting each other. Sometimes long-distance couples squabble over who’s turn it is to travel, and work, kids and financial issues can complicate these matters. However, whenever possible, it’s best to trade off evenly so that one partner doesn’t feel as though they are always the ones who are making the effort. When your partner does arrive, make an effort to put your focus on them and enjoy your precious time together. Nitpick about things like cutting the grass or dusting the shelves later.
  • Don’t buy into the “he said, she said.” It’s important to talk openly about issues that are bothering you rather than letting all of those miles (and rumors) get in the way. If you see someone new on his Facebook page, ask him about it, rather than going behind his back and trying to get the dirt from one of your mutual friends. Open and honest communication is key in every relationship, but especially so when it comes to long-distance relationships.
  • Don’t let expectations and disappointments overwhelm your time together. It’s natural to look forward to seeing your partner and to excitedly plan your activities together. However, remember not everything always goes according to plan…and that’s okay. Let things happen naturally and don’t put too much pressure on having the “perfect” weekend. Just being together is enough!
  • Stay connected sexually. Whether it’s a short and naughty sext or a long, erotic email, there are so many ways to stay connected sexually even when you are separated by the Atlantic. Spice up your phone calls with dirty talk or wear a slinky teddy when you chat on Skype. You can even send your partner a letter describing all of the X-Rated things you want to do with him when you are finally together.
  • Communicate. Make sure that you talk to your partner about anything that is bugging you, and that you regularly check in to make sure that you are and your partner are still on the same page. If the relationship isn’t working for one or both of you, it’s better to talk about it now and to try to figure the issues out if possible. It’s easy to sweep things under the rug in relationships (especially when you are long-distance lovers), but remember, those issues never go away. They just fester and become worse: So tackle them bravely and honestly in the present.
  • Behave as you would want your partner to behave. Stick to the Golden Rule when you are out at parties or socializing with the opposite sex. It’s nice to have attention and to feel attracted and wanted, but if you are coupled up, it’s important not to cross the line or to give the impression that your partner is “out of sight, out of mind.” Finish up your night out by Skyping with your partner if possible—that way, you can both fend off temptation and drift off with sweet thoughts of each other.

I Am a Child of Incest—But I Won’t Let It Define Me ….

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 by rexan jones In a raw and revealing essay, Rexan Jones embodies the power to overcome.

There are very few people who know the full story of my childhood. Friends know bits and pieces—that I was adopted, maybe, or that my parents have passed away, or that I am uncomfortable in crowds—but the details are often too much for me to share or for people to hear. I’m speaking out now in the hopes of urging anyone having a hard time to seek help, and in an attempt to find other survivors like myself. 

I am a product of incest. My grandfather sexually abused my mother—his daughter—for years, eventually getting her pregnant, and I am the result. He’s my grandfather and my father; his other seven children are my aunts and uncles, and my brothers and sisters. 
For years, my mother, the oldest, put up with the abuse through a twisted agreement with her dad: Do what you need to with me, as long as you leave the other daughters alone. She was 18 and a mother to me before she learned that he never actually kept this promise, which is when she fled. 
She also decided to finally report the abuse to the Department of Human Services. My family had escaped attention by staying on the move and isolating themselves from any kind of community. They lived in various hotel rooms and never sent the kids to school. In a strange coincidence, my mother went to authorities at the same time that two of her brothers were found by police after running away. Their stories were so similar that social workers connected the dots.

               MY MOTHER, THE OLDEST, PUT UP WITH THE ABUSE THROUGH A                      TWISTED AGREEMENT WITH HER DAD: DO WHAT YOU NEED TO WITH ME, AS LONG  AS YOU LEAVE THE OTHER DAUGHTERS ALONE.

It took another six months, though, before one pulled my mother aside and asked her gently about my parentage. The whole family maintained that she was knocked up by some maintenance worker in one of their hotels, but the social worker pressed her until she broke down and admitted I was my grandfather’s child. No one caught on earlier—it wasn’t exactly as if she was going to pre-natal appointments and putting sonograms on the fridge. A blood test was more than enough to seal my grandfather’s fate, and he was sentenced to 20 years for sexual abuse and incest. (He was released two years ago, but is on the sex offender registry—I track his whereabouts to this day to make sure he’s nowhere nearby.)
Unfortunately, we weren’t suddenly safe just because my dad was behind bars. My mother started doing drugs, and continued the cycle of abuse. She got a new boyfriend and would use me, a toddler at the time, as a part of their sexual activity—she filmed and photographed me in these situations and sold them as kiddie porn. One of my earliest, haziest memories is being sent to my room for the night because I resisted, and in another I refuse to give her boyfriend oral sex. My mother hanged herself on August 7, 1996, when I was almost 5.

  I was sent to live with my grandmother, who had been a silent witness to the horrors her husband performed. She wasn’t mentally stable herself, and she saw me as the love child of her husband’s infidelity—to her, my mother was the other woman. So she regularly beat me, and peppered me with constant psychological abuse. When I did something that displeased her, she reminded me that my bad behavior was because I was a “child of Satan.”

SHE REMINDED ME THAT MY BAD BEHAVIOR WAS BECAUSE I WAS A “CHILD OF SATAN.”

Many teenagers are angry, and many experiment with drugs and alcohol and sex. My fury was huge, and I sought refuge in prescription painkillers and pot. I got pregnant with my high-school boyfriend when I was 16—and my child finally changed my life for the better. 

I stopped drinking and smoking the second I found out, and all my focus was on giving this kid a better life than I had. When I gave birth, the doctors took one look at a pregnant teen covered in bruises and reported me to social services. My son and I were sent to a foster home, but the social worker assigned to my case was the same one who had helped my mother and brothers all those years ago. She decided to adopt me when I was 17. 
After that, I had some semblance of a normal life. I graduated valedictorian of my high school class. I married my high-school sweetheart, the father of my child. We had another son, and my husband entered the Marine Corps. 
Throughout these years, as a stone-sober working mother in her late teens, I struggled with intense anxiety and the fog of depression. I was even institutionalized for a time after a suicide attempt. When you’re in a mental hospital, you can either talk about your problems or color with crayons in the recreation room. Coloring gets a little dull. So I started talking, and I started journaling. I wrote nonstop, in my room, around others, in the cafeteria during meals. It all flooded out. I still read those journals when I’m having a tough day, to remind myself of how much I’ve overcome.
There are other sources of comfort. I have several really supportive friends. My husband and I divorced, but oddly enough I wound up bonding with his new wife. She visited me in the hospital and brought me drawings from our sons. Then there’s my roommate, who is aware of my anxiety triggers. Instead of glossing them over, he pushes me to deal with them—if we decide to go shopping and then all of a sudden I can’t get out of the car, he just sits next to me and waits for the panic to pass. We will chat for 45 minutes while I calm down, and then I’m like, “All right, let’s walk into the store.”

I also have a psychiatric-therapy dog. He’s a big, fluffy Saint Bernard who is trained to know my triggers, and will sit on my feet to literally block them from me and calm me down. If I have a panic attack, he will locate pressure points and push his giant head into them until my breathing returns to normal. I’ve always loved animals, and I volunteer as a vet tech in my spare time.

  You may wonder about my health, considering the complicated web of a gene pool I came from. Any diseases that were in my dad’s side of the family I have a high risk for, because I have so much of his DNA. I’ve battled cervical cancer twice, and because my joints didn’t develop correctly, I already have arthritis. One doctor told me, “You’re a 23-year-old with a 53-year-old’s body.”
Dating is terrible for most people, and I’m no different. But I try. Intimacy is really tough—both emotional and sexual—so I set limits. The dos and don’ts of getting close to me. 

                   MY SONS ARE MY INCENTIVE. THEY TEACH ME HOW TO BE CAPABLE OF JOY.

And there are my sons. At the moment, they are 6 and 4, and all they know of my past is that mommy is an orphan who was adopted. When I’m with them, a switch gets flipped and I am in happy mode. They motivate me to get out of bed, to go to work, to keep going, to smile. The cycle of abuse has stopped with me. They are my incentive. They teach me how to be capable of joy.
I’ve spent enough of my life being angry. And enraged about my past, and resentful of my family, and pessimistic about humanity’s enormous capacity for evil. I am done being angry. 
I founded a support group for people like me, and hope to form a network of survivors. I am okay with the past. It’s the present and the future—my career, my animals, my hope for love, my bright, beautiful boys—that I want to talk about now.​​ what do you have to say?..