Month: November 2014
I’m not sure who asked the question to begin with (as though you needed a reason!), but here is the full list of 237 reasons that people said why they have sex:
1. I was ”in the heat of the moment.”
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like ”the thing to do.”
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness “(i.e.,” intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from my friends.
9. It’s “exciting,” adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to have something to tell my friends.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you’re supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was ”horny.”
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to ”go all the way” than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was ”committed.”
39. I was competing with someone else to ”get the person.”
40. I wanted to ”gain control” of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress.
47. I didn’t know how to say ”no.”
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50 My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It’s fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone “(i.e.,” get revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn’t had sex for a while.
60. The person was ”available.”
61. I didn’t want to ”lose” the person.
62. I thought it would help ”trap” a new partner.
63. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to ”possess” the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about themselves.
80. I didn’t want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to ”get over” an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a deeper level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn’t have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a ”spiritual” experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship ”routine”.
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got ”carried away.”
97. I needed another ”notch on my belt.”
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned “(e.g.,” on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It’s considered ”taboo” by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too ”hot” (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to ”get sex out of my system” so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner’s desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said ”no.”
113. The person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about themselves.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my “partner,” so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I’m addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is “boring,” so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the ”rebound” from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem.
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
144. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
145. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
146. I wanted to keep warm.
147. I wanted to punish myself.
148. I wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
149. I wanted to stop my partners’ nagging.
150. I wanted to impress friends.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease “(e.g.,” “herpes,” AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another’s relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say ”no” due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. I wanted to raise my self-esteem.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work – sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say ”I’ve missed you.”
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say ”I’m sorry.”
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say ”Thank you.”
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say ”goodbye.”
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve ”blue balls.”
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person’s physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.
227. I knew the person was usually ”out of my league.”
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I wanted to feel loved.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about their problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner’s spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.
Shi’ite Muslims are well known for their martyrdom, and ashura is no exception. Ashura is an Islamic event recognised by Muslims around the world, though for Shi’ites it’s done in commemoration of the death Prophet Mohammad’s grandson Imam Hussain’s at the 7th century battle of Karbala. Hussain’s, along with his comrades, was repeatedly hit on the head with daggers, and blood was spilled onto Muslim streets. The ritual is performed as a means of absolving sin, and people spill their own blood and those of their relatives to mourn the fact that they were not being present to save Hussein.
The death of a family member in the Dani tribe of Indonesia heralds a vast amount of emotional – and physical – pain for women. Aside from the inevitable emotional grief, women of the Dani tribe physically express that by cutting off (by compulsion) a segment of one of their fingers when a relative passes away. The bizarre cultural practice is performed as a means to satisfy ancestral ghosts, and is rarely, but still sporadically, Bowman in the tribe. Before being amputated, the fingers are tied with a string for thirty minutes to numb them. Once amputated, the new fingertips are burned to create new scar tissue.
So You’re Engaged! Here Are 5 Hard Relationship Questions To Ask Before You Even Start Planning The Wedding
Engagement season is coming up! Yay! Congratulations if you’re engaged!
It is indeed a very happy time, but the temptation to see engagement as merely the wedding-planning phase of your relationship and not, more importantly, the phrase of your relationship in which you plan for your marriage. Being married can feel as if it’s just dating-made-permanent, but it’s a binding legal commitment that comes with obligations that will be easier to cope with if you’ve put the work in before your marriage starts.
You also don’t want to get blindsided by disparities between your partner’s point of view and your own after you’ve signed on to being obligated to this person — talk about a huge source of marital friction. It’s OK if you differ, but finding common ground on your highest priorities ahead of time and planning accordingly will take the guesswork out of your marriage. Here are some of the uncomfortable questions you should be asking while you’re engaged, before you even start buying wedding magazines:
1. What is your money philosophy? Some people are frugal to a fault; some figure that if they have it, they should spend it; some people bargain to death on staples so that they can splurge on indulgences (raises hand); some people try to just sort of do a little of column A, a little of column B — save the money they can save, go out on occasion, avoid excessively expensive grocery stores. None of those are necessarily bad ways to live, but you and your partner need to know what the other believes is important to spend money on and what isn’t and come to a compromise. It’s really a question of what you’re willing to sacrifice, and if you end up sacrificing things you don’t want to, it’ll end up being a sore spot.
2. How important is it to you to either have kids or not have kids? It’s a cliché, but kids are a dealbreaker. If it’s a must-do for either of you, you both have to know. If one of you could imagine one day deciding not to have kids, you both have to know. If you’re both open-minded about it either way, it will at least be good for you to know that ahead of time — and keep communicating about it throughout your marriage.
3. How will you handle it if one of you ends up feeling attracted to someone else? This is TOUGH and UNPLEASANT, but acting as if extramarital attraction never happens is flat-out naîve. Establishing an appropriate way to communicate about it that won’t be hurtful to either party could help you to avoid problems in the future. And by the way, having an embargo on any such conversation is not a real plan. You’re both human beings who feel desire and should respect each other as such. If you need an example, here’s my plan: On my own, I evaluate why I’m attracted to that person (I do it on my own, or with a trusted friend or family member, because it would upset my partner for me to work through it with him). If it’s something that isn’t being fulfilled in my monogamous relationship, I bring that need up to my partner and we talk about how to have it respected and fulfilled. If it’s not something that’s unfulfilled in my relationship and is purely admiration, I feel free to say so to my partner and to that person with the understanding that it will in no way be acted upon. If I say so to the other person and they proceed to try to act upon that knowledge, I stop spending time with them. (If you’re wondering, yes, there are many people who appreciate knowing that they are personally, intellectually, and thereby physically attractive, appreciate having the elephant in the room addressed, and understand that we both have a much deeper respect for my monogamy than desire to act upon a very surface-level attraction. Knowing that your friend thinks you’re awesome can lead to an even better friendship.) It doesn’t happen often, but it helps to have a set of steps to follow when it does. Figure out what will work for you.
4. What is your individual life plans and what are you willing and not willing to sacrifice for your partner’s goals? Do you know your life plan? Do you have dreams? Are you working toward them? Can you see yourself changing careers often? Are you a straight-and-narrow kind of person, or is your future open-ended? Your partner needs to know what is going to be fulfilling to you, what might be required of them in order for you to achieve those things, and what kind of compromises you both might have to make in the process. That includes questions about if you’re willing to move, if you’re willing to be the primary income earner for a period of time, how tight of a budget you’re willing to live on. If being together for a lifetime is a priority for both of you, knowing what adjustments you’re willing to make to your life goals and for your partner’s in order for you both to feel fulfilled as individuals and as parts of a couple is key.
5. What is totally unacceptable to you during arguments? What do you consider a low blow? I found out that my partner hates being told “fuck you” even though it’s no big deal to me, and there are particular words that hit me right in the core that are just normal, blow-off words to him. You both have pasts, and you have to respect that when you argue by avoiding hot-button words that will derail the argument and make it unproductive. Knowing why those things bother both of you will give you incentive not to go there in a moment of poor judgment. In addition, being communicative about how each other’s argumentative styles make you both feel is edifying: You can find out what attitudes to tend to espouse when you’re arguing — if you’re passive-aggressive, if you’re aggressive-aggressive, if you’re condescending or sarcastic — and avoid that, too, so that you can voice and respect your own feelings, solve the problem you’re arguing about, and not end up feeling resentful.
BUMMER, I know. But hey! Once you figure this stuff out, you can get on to looking at flowers and stuff, confident that you’ll be able to support and respect each other and yourselves.
Uh oh. A new study from Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (sounds fancy), recently discovered that women who start or stop taking birth control while they’re in a relationship experience a decrease in sexual satisfaction… especially if their boyfriends or husbands are uggos. Looks like meeting the love of your life while taking birth control isn’t as convenient as you thought it would be.
This study looked at 70 couples over a year, along with 48 couples over four years of marriage. It found that women who aren’t taking birth control pills are mega interested in hard 10 smoke show men. If women start taking the pill after entering a relationship, and then stop taking it while still together, they still liked their husbands. If women were on the pill when they fell in love, then stopped taking the pill once they were in a relaysh, they no longer found their husband quite as hottie patottie if they were less attractive to begin with.
The results might be because the estrogen in birth control pills changes what women are looking for in a mate. Other studies have shown that women look for more masculine partners when they’re ovulating, because it seems like they have good genes, which would help out in a pregnancy. Women who aren’t on the pill are more interested in guys with good looks, because they’re not trying to put a ring on it.
This was a follow-up to a 2001 study that showed similar findings. This confirmation impacts lots of ladies. As of 2010, 17% of women from 15-44 were on the pill. Good news for ugly dudes, bad news for everyone else, ever.
I’m sarcastic. I’m not just sometimes sarcastic, like in awkward situations where I feel on the defensive or in other scenarios where I’m tying to hide my true emotions. No, I’m always sarcastic, through and through, to the core, and right down to my very bones.
And, because of this personality trait, things are difficult for me when it comes to dealing with those who don’t speak in sarcasm. I’m not sure why one wouldn’t, but I digress.
As a sarcastic woman, there some struggles that come with the territory. Daily struggles that I can’t escape, and if you’re a sarcastic person, as well, you know exactly the pains of which I speak.
Of course, this does not mean I’ll be amending myself anytime soon, but I would like to take a moment to get some of these struggles off of my chest.
1. You’ve been called a bitch more times than you can count.
Although it’s the furthest from the truth.
2. People consistently think you’re mean during first meetings.
Again, it’s the furthest from the truth.
3. Which also means your friends are constantly complaining about how they have to warn people about your “meanness.”
Well, that’s their problem not yours.
4. But honestly, you don’t really like most people anyway.
Which can be trying, because, you know, life.
5. Your perma-bitch face causes people to ask, “Are you kidding?” Then telling you that they “can’t tell” if you’re serious or not.
And, man, does that get old fast.
6. People never take your compliments seriously.
(Even when they totally are!)
7. Those same people also accuse you of making them self-conscious just because they can’t read your compliment.
Get some therapy, if you’re that insecure about what I say.
8. Your deadpan expression to even the most exciting things is often misunderstood.
Sometimes you just don’t have to jump up and down, and smile to be happy.
9. You’re constantly pointing out to people you’re “just being sarcastic,” because they just don’t effing get it.
Even after knowing me for a decade some of my friends don’t get it.
10. People can never quite read your emotions.
But that’s the way you prefer it.
11. And when things are really bad, someone will always make light of it, because they think you’re being sarcastic. Again.
But boy, oh boy, do they feel like idiots afterward.
12. You get easily aggravated when someone questions your sarcasm.
Go ahead. Ask me one more time why I’m sarcastic all the time. Do it!
13. But you get even more aggravated with the endlessness of need to tell people you’re being sarcastic.
14. Dating is near impossible.
Unless, of course, you find a fellow sarcastic person
15. Not a day goes by that you don’t accidentally insult someone “too dumb” to understand your intended tone.
If only you had a penny for every time you had to apologize to a moron.
16. You always feel like you’re alone in your wit and bizarre sense of humor.
Because you pretty much are.
17. And the headaches are never-ending, because you’re constantly forced to roll your eyes at everything.
Swedish researchers have found that a high intake of milk may be associated with higher mortality and fracture risks in women and higher mortality risk in men, but they caution against basing any dietary recommendations on their findings, which were published online October 28 in BMJ.
Karl Michaëlsson, MD, PhD, professor in medical epidemiology and senior consultant in orthopedic surgery at Uppsala University in Sweden, and colleagues analyzed data on two large Swedish cohorts: one with 61,433 women aged 39 to 74 years and another with 45,339 men aged 45 to 79 years. Through food frequency questionnaires, the researchers obtained data on common foods and beverages consumed on a daily and weekly basis.
They analyzed outcomes from enrollment (from 1987 to 1990 for the women and January 1998 for the men) through December 2010. During a median of 22 years of follow-up, 15,541 women died and 17,252 women had a fracture. During a median of 13 years of follow-up, 10,112 men died and 5379 men had a fracture.
The researchers found that women who drank three or more glasses (680 g) of milk a day had almost twice the risk for death compared with women who drank less than one glass a day (hazard ratio [HR], 1.93, 95% confidence interval [CI], 1.80 – 2.06). Women who drank more milk also had a higher risk for any type of fracture (HR, 1.16; 95% CI, 1.08 – 1.25) and for hip fracture specifically
Although the researchers found that men who drank three or more glasses of milk had a slightly higher risk for death compared with those who drank less than one glass (HR, 1.10, 95% CI, 1.03 – 1.17), men did not have the excess risk for fracture seen in women.
The researchers adjusted the hazard ratio calculations for a wide variety of covariates, including but not limited to age, smoking status, body mass index, height, educational level, calcium and vitamin D supplementation, ever use of cortisone, physical activity, and Charlson’s comorbidity index.
In a sensitivity analysis, adjusting for nutrients associated with osteoporosis or fracture risk, the researchers found an even stronger association between high milk intake and outcomes. They also found an association between high milk intake and oxidative stress and inflammation.
In contrast, the authors found no similar association between fermented milk products, including yogurt and cheese, and adverse outcomes.
The researchers did not distinguish among fat levels in milk, such as skim and whole, but lumped all milk consumption into one category.
“One potential candidate for the discrepant results for different types of dairy products is D-galactose content,” the researchers write. “The intake of D-galactose from non-fermented milk is considerably higher than that from other food sources, including cheese and fermented milk products.” They cite animal studies that have linked D-galactose to premature aging.
“Our results may question the validity of recommendations to consume high amounts of milk to prevent fragility fractures. The results should, however, be interpreted cautiously given the observational design of our study,” they conclude.
In an accompanying editorial, C. Mary Schooling, PhD, a professor of epidemiology at Hunter College in New York City, writes that Dr Michaëlsson and colleagues “raise a fascinating possibility,” but she too urges caution in interpreting the findings.
“As milk consumption may rise globally with economic development and increasing consumption of animal source foods, the role of milk in mortality needs to be established definitively now,” she says.
A Far Reach?
Kasia Ciaston, MS, RD, LDN, a clinical dietitian at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Illinois, however, characterizes the study findings as “a little bit of a far reach.”
“I think some of the most important things mentioned in the article are that randomized controlled trials and meta-analyses already studied…milk intake and relation to mortality [and] have displayed no clear pattern of risk, and that the evidence to make this relationship is lacking,” she told Medscape Medical News in a telephone interview.
Missing from the study, she said, was a discussion of bone density and family history of osteoporosis as potential factors, as well as any discussion of activity levels.
She added that it should not be concluded that the same thing occurs in humans that is seen animal studies.
This research was supported by grants from the Swedish Research Council. The authors, editorialist, and commenter have disclosed no relevant financial relationship…