We hear about cheaters on the news every day. The famous ones are known far and wide, for what they did and who they did it with. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Anthony Weiner and Bill Clinton are just a few famous men in the “Cheaters Hall of Shame” but they certainly are not the only men or women on the planet to stray. Everyday, men and women cheat — physically, emotionally, or through technology. Here’s a primer on what you need to know about infidelity, cheaters and how to deal if you suspect you have a cheater in your life.
People in So-Called Happy Marriages Will Cheat.
A study by Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, and the author of Why Him? Why Her? found that 56 percent of men and 34 percent of women who had affairs claimed to be happy or very happy in their marriages.
Women Are More Likely to Stray for Emotional Reasons.
Like many other inherent differences between the sexes, men and women often cite disparate motivations for infidelity. Men are more likely to cite sexual motivations and less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner. Women tend to have an emotional connection with their lovers and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness or because they are looking to fill an emotional void.
Infidelity Is Not the Leading Cause of Divorce
While cheating can destroy a marriage, the main reason married couples cite for splitting up, according to Divorce Magazine, is that they are just downright incompatible and find it impossible to communicate.
If You Suspect Your Partner Is Cheating, Discuss It
Even if you don’t have hard evidence, you have the right to bring up your fears and suspicions with your mate. Instead of playing amateur detective, save yourself the stress and anxiety of spying on your partner and be forthright — you deserve honest answers. Trust and communication are the foundations of a good relationship, and your concerns need to be addressed — whether or not your partner is actually unfaithful. Your gut instinct is usually right, though, so you need to find out what is going on.
There’s No One Demographic Profile of a Cheater
The statistics about cheating, while varied depending on the source, are still alarming. Some studies put the percentage of husbands who will eventually cheat at close to 50 percent. While cheating affects both the young and old, the affluent and the financially struggling, there are certain groups who will be more likely to cheat, according to a National Marriage Project study; high-school dropouts and couples in which one partner is largely dependent on the other’s income are more apt to stray.
There Are Certain Red Flags That Often Signify Your Partner May Be Cheating
When your couch-potato partner who spends the bulk of his time in stained T-shirts all of a sudden joins the gym and buys an expensive fashion-forward wardrobe, the sirens should sound. Also, be wary of sudden shifts in your partner’s behavior, either positive or negative. If your mate suddenly becomes super critical, he/she may be trying to set you up as the person at fault. And when partners become unnecessarily generous, especially with gifts, often it’s because they are doing it out of guilt.
Adultery Is a Crime Punishable by Imprisonment In Certain States
While the adultery statutes are rarely enforced, adultery is considered a crime in Michigan, Minnesota, and South Carolina.
The Propensity to Cheat May Be Genetically Pre determined
A study conducted by Binghamton University linked a specific genetic variation with infidelity — the same genetic variation, apparently, which has also been linked with alcohol consumption, gambling, a love of horror films, and openness to new social situations.
There Is No Specific Timetable or Way to Recover From Infidelity
Restoration of trust should be paramount for couples when someone has cheated. Couples therapy can be extremely beneficial for both partners as they work toward recovering and rebuilding the relationship. While betrayed partners ultimately decide when they feel they have recovered, it’s important for the affair not to dominate the relationship. I suggest establishing the 15-minute rule, in which the betrayed partner is allowed to talk about the affair for 15 minutes every day for as many days as needed